Tony Stark Attempts To Obtain New Pets
by BlackDiamond367
Summary: This collection contains all of the Avengers, as well as an OC. The title says it all. Showcases the unbearable ego (and stupidity) of Tony Stark.
1. German Sheperds

**Tony Stark Attempts To Obtain New Pets. Oh dear. This cannot be good for your mental health. Warning: this is centered around everyone's favorite egomaniac, but I have an OC (Spectra) on the Avengers team that does own an important role. She's an Avenger. Duh.**

**Disclaimer: not mine. Yet.**

Tony waltzed into Stark Tower's huge entertainment room holding a leash. And the leash was attached to five German Sheperds. Oh joy.

The dogs barked.

The Avengers ignored Tony.

They were too busy doing very important things. Barton was taking a nap in the air vents, Natasha was cleaning her guns, Banner was down the lab doing...sciency things, Cap was trying to figure out how to use a toaster, Thor was raiding the cabinets for poptarts, and Spectra was floating cross-legged in the corner, reading a book and ignoring everyone.

So not that important.

But they didn't want to deal with Tony's Starkiness.

The largest dog growled at Spectra.

Biggest mistake _ever_.

Spectra glared at it. The dog whimpered, its tail between its legs.

Stark threw an arm around her shoulder, sporting an egotistic smirk. "See, he likes you!"

In response, Spectra turned into her ghostly form, allowing Tony's arm to fall through her. He hit the floor face first. Spectra turned back to normal, then offered Tony a hand. When he took it, she promptly flipped him over her head into the wall.

Holding against the wall by his throat, she growled into his ear a metric crap ton of violent threats, then drew back and said sarcastically,"Now, is Tony going to be a good boy and return the doggies to the pet store?"

Stark peeped out a terrified,"Yes."

Smiling, she dropped him. "Good little egomanic."

The Avengers doubled over laughing, except for Tony, who did the smart thing (for once) and ran, the dogs in tow.

Captain America, the great hero that bested Red Skull in combat, frowned.

"How do you turn this thing on?!"He said, pressing the switch down repeatedly.

The toaster was unplugged.


	2. Hamsters

**Chapter two! Sorry for the long wait! School can do that to a person.**

**Read and review!**

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><p>Stark wandered into the living room, holding an oversized pet carrier.<p>

The Avengers ignored him again.

They were playing Monopoly. Which was obviously more important than whatever was in the pet carrier.

"Hey! Your favorite billionaire genius is back!"

No response.

He ran over and jumped on Steve's shield, which was lying next to the super soldier.

No response.

Tony got up and poked Natasha's shoulder.

No response.

He shrugged and sat down on the Monopoly board, sending the cards and pieces everywhere. Five seconds later, there was a bow pointed at his face, a gun at his chest, and a ball of dark magic hovering between Spectra's palms, ready to launch at him. "Hey, uh, guys, let's calm down, eh?" he said nervously.

Spectra sighed, dissipating the magic. "Let's just start over." Then she smirked. "I think Stark still deserves a punishment. What about you, Tasha?" Widow leaned over and whispered something to the sorceress. Spectra stifled a laugh. "Oh, that's a good one."

Tony looked worried. "What's going on?"

Spectra made a blue spark between her palms. She pulled her hands away from each other, expanding the orb. When it was the size of a basketball, she launched it toward the unfortunate genius. It sank into his chest and disappeared.

Nothing happened.

Tony smirked and tried to say something, but no sound came out.

Clint snickered and started cleaning up the board. Bruce just facepalmed. Thor tilted his head like a confused puppy. Steve tried not to let his grin split his face in half.

Spectra cleaned the rest of the mess up with a spell. She turned to Tony, who was still trying to talk, and lifted her hand. The billionaire flew up off the board and onto the couch. She leaned over the board and placed a stack of bills into the bank area. Bruce sighed, "Could you let him off, please? I need him for lab work later."

Spectra made a fist motion, and the ball of light rose from Tony's chest, dissipating in midair. Stark jumped up and ran over to his pet carrier and opened it. A swarm of hamsters flowed out.

Steve made a squeaking noise and Clint disappeared into the air vents. Spectra flew to the ceiling and floated there.

The hamsters covered the floor and couch. Tony laughed maniacally. "Go, my furry army! Go!" Natasha smacked Tony on the back of his head. Spectra mumbled something in a strange language. Seven cats appeared in the room.

Five minutes later, the cats had chased all of the hamsters back into the carrier. The cats disappeared.

Spectra floated back down and glared at Tony.

Clint poked his head out of the vent and glared at Tony.

Bruce stood up and glared at Tony.

Natasha punched and then glared at Tony.

Steve stopped trembling and glared at Tony.

Hawkeye growled, "Turn _him_ into a hamster."

Spectra cast a transfiguration curse, and the unfortunate genius shrank into a fluffy hamster with a white underbelly and golden brown fur.

He squeaked in indignation as she picked him up. Clint offered her a hamster cage. She stuffed Hamster!Tony in. Slipping a slender finger in, she prodded the hamster-ized genius.

He made a high-pitched squeal. Spectra just smirked withdrew her finger.

Let it suffice to say that Tony was sorry for trying to swarm the tower with hamsters.

And, well, everything he had ever done to annoy Spectra.

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><p><strong>That chapter was kinda weird...<strong>

**There wasn't much about the actual hamsters for a while...**

**Oh well. Hope you enjoyed!**

**Review!**


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